


The Weight Of Us

by ArcticAngels



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bellarke, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Flarke, Friends to Lovers, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Protective Bellamy, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Smut, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-10 10:29:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18658606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcticAngels/pseuds/ArcticAngels
Summary: Bellamy comes back from college and reconnects with his sisters best friend, Clarke Griffin.His first reaction was that she got pretty, but that would be an understatement. Of course Clarke had always been a cute girl but he had only known her until the age of twelve. The brutal pre-teen age where her face was covered in acne, her teeth littered with braces and her almost white hair was cut short to her shoulders.Now she steps out of the front door in a short white sundress with her long legs exposed and her hair down to the middle of her back. Her face had completely cleared up and he couldn’t help but notice how the top of her dress is perfectly filled out by her chest. She smiles and gives him a wave, walking towards the car in her wedge heel sandals. Stepping into the car her dress rides up a bit, getting even shorter.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hii, so I don't really know what to say. I hope people are going to read this story lol, I'm really excited for it.  
> If you want a heads up for future updates you can follow me on twitter; @ArcticAngelss . I made the account specifically for ao3 stories and i'll be posting things like the outfits Clarke wears and stuff (don't ask my why, i don't know).  
> anyway, I hope you guys like what I wrote so far. I already have chapter two written out but I won't post it until I have the third chapter so I'm ahead (idk if that makes sense but ok) 
> 
> (Ratings are Mature now but will most likely change to explicit later)

It had been five years since he stood here. In front of the apartment building he’d grown up in. the parking lot where he learned to ride a bike, the crappy elevator he and his sister got stuck in once. He dreaded coming home for a long time, it was like he didn’t think he’d be welcome. Like leaving for college was like leaving his family behind.

He didn’t regret leaving though. College was fun and he even got back with a degree, that’s more than anyone in his family had ever had. But the way things went weren’t the way he wanted it to. Still he let it happen. He let himself lose contact with his mother and sister and he left them alone to take care of themselves. 

The first two years of college he still called them, almost every day. They always talked about them visiting him in New York but they knew they didn’t actually have the money for that. After a few years the contact started to fade away, now the last time he received a text from his mother was about three months ago. They never talk about what’s happening in their lives or how they’re doing, the only confirmation he gets from them is an occasional text.

He’s not entirely sure why he never put more effort in though. Maybe because he was too caught up in his own life. In studying, partying and girls. Lots of girls. Or maybe it was because he was angry. Angry at his mother for ruining his life, for making him take care of Octavia since he could remember while she was passed out drunk on the couch.

He needed his own life, to care about anything other than his family. And for five years he truly had that. Of course, his family was always in the back of his mind. Octavia was only twelve when he left so she was always in the back of his mind. His mother too. Is she sober? Does she need him? No matter how many times things go wrong he never stopped worrying about family. He never stopped thinking about the times he had to hide Octavia from his mom’s abusive boyfriends or about how he’d gotten a few punches himself after standing up for his family.

Of course, all of that stayed with him and he never stopped caring but he was afraid they wouldn’t believe that. Octavia’s almost eighteen now, she’s grown up from the twelve year old girl he knew and he hopes that means she’ll understand. But it’s Octavia, forgiveness doesn’t come easy to her. As for his mom, he’s not sure what to think. When he left she was an alcoholic. Over the years he’s heard that she’s doing better, but those are her own words and she would never admit it if she wasn’t actually doing better. 

He waits in front of the dark blue front door. Not sure if he should knock or just grab the key he knows is behind the plant to his right. But then the door opens, catching him off guard and making his heart beat faster in his chest. It’s Octavia. Except taller and more mature than he remembers. She looks up at him in shock and drops her keys. “Bellamy?” He’s not sure what to do now, he hadn’t thought this far ahead. “You’re back?”.

She looks confused, obviously because he didn’t tell anyone he was coming back home. He opened his mouth to say something, not sure what was going to come out. Luckily he got interrupted. His sisters hands flew around his neck and she buried her head in his shoulder. He sighs in relief and wraps his hands around her. “I’m sorry I didn’t call” he mutters into her hair.

She backs away and gives him a shove, “you asshole”. Suddenly she sound mad, like she’s come down from the fact that he’s back and now she just wants to know what the hell he’s doing here. “O, I’m sorry” he really doesn’t have anything better than that. He’s afraid is he’d explain his reasons she might get even angrier.

“Don’t think that you can just move back in here” she crosses her arms, raising an eyebrow. “You can’t just expect to come back here and think everything’s gonna be normal”. He knows, he didn’t think it would be that easy. He figured they’d pretty much forgotten about him but looking into the apartment, seeing his pictures still hanging on the wall, maybe they still care.

“I know, O. I’m moving into my own place down the street” he says calmly. He already knew this would happen, they wouldn’t just let him back into their lives like that. So he and Miller had already been moving their stuff into a new apartment. He sighs and looks around, “where’s mom?”.

Octavia gives him a frown, “do you care?”. He was afraid this would happen. That she didn’t think he still cared. He doesn’t know what to say to convince her otherwise so he just tilts his head and gives her an apologetic look. “She’s grocery shopping, you can wait for her inside but I’m leaving” she steps outside and lets him in, walking away without another word.

He sits down at the kitchen table and looks around. Not too much had changed about the apartment. Except for the coffee table, the furniture was still the same. The tv had been replaced by a bigger one and there were some new decorations. He hopes that means that his mom had actually gotten in together over the past years. That she stopped drinking and maybe got a decent job.

When she walked into the room he got somewhat of the same reaction he got out of Octavia, only less angry. Probably because she understood why things went the way they did. He needed space and time for himself and she seemed to know exactly why. Because of her, because of her drinking, her problems and all the things he lacked of in his childhood, because of her. She looked better than he remembered. Her hair was straightened, she was wearing a white blouse and she even had some make up on.

They talked for a while. About college and about Octavia. He was pleased to her that his little sister was doing good and she was applying to college next year. His mother didn’t seem to mind Bellamy being back, she even offered for him to stay with them but he declined. She grabbed his hand and he looked up, “I’m so sorry Bellamy, about everything”. He’s a little surprised by her being so forward about it. Whenever he used to address her problems before she’d get angry, now she’s straight up apologizing for it. “You leaving made me realize how terrible I was. I should’ve realized that sooner, would’ve saved you a lot of trouble”.

Yes, it would. “It’s okay, mom” he smiles and cups his hand over hers. He knows all of this must’ve been hard on her but he’s honestly not sure he forgives her, for now he’ll just pretend like he has. He hasn’t exactly been a good son either, just like she hasn’t been a good mother.

For the next few days he visited his mom back at their apartment. Octavia joined in on conversation a couple of times but never lost the bitter tone in her voice. Even though it did hurt him he tried to ignore it as much as possible. He understood why she was angry and he figured she’d get over it eventually. He knows she still cares about him, if she didn’t she wouldn’t have hugged him.

After a week of being back in Arkadia Octavia finally started talking to him, still only when it came to her benefit though. She had asked her if she could throw a party for her and her friends at his place, since their mom didn’t let her. Desperate for Octavia’s forgiveness, he let her, unaware of how much he would end up regretting that. Not only does he not feel like making a mess in his new apartment and does he definitely not want to get evicted already but he remembers his sister as a twelve year old and he’s not ready for her to be drinking and partying. The night of the party she walked in with a keg, struggling to carry it past the door opening. “Where should I put this?” she looks around the room and puts it down with a heavy sigh. 

“How about outside give it back to whoever you got it from cause you’re way too young to drink” he sounds like a dad, he knows that but even the law says she can’t drink so there’s no harm in reminding her. She groans and rolls her eyes, attempting to drag the keg to the kitchen. Bellamy sighs, “I’ll do it”. He picks it up and put it down in the kitchen, still annoyed at the fact that his little sister ordered a keg.

Octavia stands in the living room with her hands in her pockets, “can you do me a favor?”. Like letting her throw a party in his apartment? Things are still weird between them, she’s obviously still mad at him but he’s just letting her use him in attempt to make things better. “Can you pick up Clarke? her car’s at the garage.” 

The name Clarke Griffin hadn’t really come to mind in the last five years. The blonde little hellraiser and Octavia had been best friends since they were six. From that age to twelve they’d always make sure to ruin his day. Bellamy made a face, “I’m sure she can afford a cab”. Octavia tilted her head and rolls her eyes.

“This isn’t new York Bellamy” she takes red plastic cups out of a grocery bag and puts them on the kitchen counter, “just go pick her up please, and don’t be weird”. What does she mean by that? Why would he be weird? He really doesn’t want to pick her up but he grabs his keys off of the table and steps out of his apartment, on his way to Arkadia’s most expensive neighborhoods. His old pick up truck seems even crappier next to these Porsches and Ferraris.

As he drives down the street of white mansions he remembers exactly where she lives. How could he not after all the Christmases and thanksgivings he spent there when his mom was too drunk to celebrate the holidays. Octavia never minded spending time at the Griffins. An expensive buffet, big gifts and a huge Christmas tree decorated by the cleaning lady. Bellamy never cared for any of it, he knew he could give Octavia a great holiday at home, even if it was just the two of them with some take out. But every time they spent another holiday at the Griffins, their home seemed just a little smaller.

Clarke’s mother never liked it when they’d spend their Christmas there. The family would always have plenty of guests and Jake always said that two more didn’t matter and with the overflow of food they had people make for them, it really didn’t. Abby saw it more as a charity case, and that’s how he began to feel.

He pulled over at one of the houses and honked, assuming she already knew he was coming. Within a few moments she came walking out the door. His first reaction was that she got pretty, but that would be an understatement. Of course Clarke had always been a cute girl but he had only known her until the age of twelve. The brutal pre-teen age where her face was covered in acne, her teeth littered with braces and her almost white hair was cut short to her shoulders.

Now she steps out of the front door in a short white sundress with her long legs exposed and her hair down to the middle of her back. Her face had completely cleared up and he couldn’t help but notice how the top of her dress is perfectly filled out by her chest. She smiles and gives him a wave, walking towards the car in her wedge heel sandals. Stepping into the car her dress rides up a bit, getting even shorter. He swallows, this is what Octavia must’ve meant with ‘don’t be weird’.

“Hey” her voice was sweet like he remembered, just a little less whiney. She turns her face to him and looks at him with her big blue eyes, he’s pretty sure they got even bluer since the last time he saw her. “How was college?” she asks casually while he’s still focused on her eyes.

He turns his gaze to the road and starts the car, clearing his throat. “It’s fine, nothing special” he says, trying to act as ‘not weird’ as possible. He figured that Clarke had grown up just as much as Octavia had but he hadn’t expected this. It was a strange thing to admit but she got hot. Really hot. 

“Really?” Clarke narrows her eyes at him, “so no parties or anything? New York is just a place with some boring buildings and a park in the middle?” she’s teasing him, he can tell. He rolls his eyes and looks at her, immediately regretting that when he feels himself getting distracted with his eyes on her chest. What the hell is wrong with him? This is Clarke Griffin, the girl that pied her pants at the zoo when she was seven. He can’t be attracted to her.

But then she smiles so adorably and he can’t help but smile right back, “Nope, no parties at all. Totally overrated”. She laughs and looks out of the window. They spend the rest of the ride in silence and he’s surprised it’s not awkward. Maybe it’s because they already know each other but then again, they don’t really, not anymore.

When they arrive at his apartment building and he’s about to get out of his car she stops him, grabbing his wrist but letting go as soon as she has his attention. “Octavia’s really happy you’re back” she starts, “She might be acting a bit… bitter, but that’s just because she doesn’t know how else to act. I know how things were with your mom before and that was a little hard for Octavia to deal with when you left but she doesn’t blame you for that.”

It’s strange hearing about his mother from her but he could’ve guessed that she knew, she’d probably known that ever since they were kids. It’s a little embarrassing to be honest. Her words about Octavia’s feelings are sweet, things Octavia would never say, not even to her best friend. He presses his lips together into a smile, “did she tell you that herself?”. 

“In her own words” Clarke said. Part of him didn’t believe that, but then again, maybe he doesn’t know his sister half as good as she does. She gets out of the car and walks towards the entrance of the building like she knows exactly where she’s going. The music is already blasting from his apartment and looking back at the parking lot and the amount of cars there he figures the party is already in full swing.

And it is. They come into an apartment full of sweaty teenagers dancing, drinking and even making out. Octavia’s standing in the small kitchen where they set up a game of beer pong at his breakfast table. He’s happy Miller is spending the night at Jacksons cause he would not be happy with this mess.

Right in front of them is a couple heavily making out, using way too much tongue. Clarke blushes and awkwardly winces away from them when they stumble towards her. “I’m gonna go join Octavia” she says before turning around and bumping into yet another couple on her way to the kitchen. Bellamy laughs at her and looks around, with all the teenage hormones flying around here he thinks it might be a good idea to guard his bedroom, making sure no one plans to have sex in there.

But it was a little too late for that. A brown haired guy was shirtless on his bed, a light-skinned girl on top of him. “Hey!” she covered chest with her shirt and looked at her boyfriend, or whatever, in shock. How shocked can you be when you start to have sex at a party, in someone else’s room, with the door unlocked? “get out” Bellamy said pointing towards the hallway. They picked up their clothes and angrily put them on, like it was his fault they chose to do it in his bed.

He spends the rest of the night in his bedroom with the door locked, trying not to picture Octavia’s doing this sort of things already. Sneaking off with some guy at a party to have sex in a random bedroom. He hates to think that Octavia has come to that age but considering that’s exactly what he did six years ago, when he was seventeen, it’s pretty realistic for her to do the same. He shakes the thought out of his head and looks at the time on his phone. 3:21AM. 

Luckily when he walked out of his room it looked like most of the party had died down. The only people still there were Octavia’s close friends, some he even recognized from before college. Jasper, didn’t look like he grew up one bit and neither did Monty. Harper’s face had gotten less chubby from the last time he saw her and Murphy only looked taller.

He was surprised to see the guy who attempted to hook up in his bedroom earlier. He was even more surprised to see him on the couch next to Clarke, his arm wrapped around her shoulders. He frowned at him but Jasper spoke up before he could say anything, “damn Bellamy, you got ripped”.

“Maybe college will do the same to you” The brown haired guy teased his Jasper, nudging his skinny arms. The conversation went on like he wasn’t there and he looked at Octavia, whose eyes slowly closing as she leaned on the arm of the chair she was sitting on. “Shut up, Finn. I don’t need muscles to be hot” Jasper joked.

Soon the group left one by one. He and Octavia started cleaning up a bit of the mess while Clarke stood in the hallway, saying goodnight to the boy whose name was apparently Finn. He watched them in confusion as she gave him a kiss goodbye. Not only is it strange to picture Clarke with a boyfriend, it’s even worse knowing he’s cheating on her and she doesn’t have a clue. He knows he should tell her but he’s not sure how.


	2. Chapter 2

Back when she was younger she always knew exactly how to stand up for herself. If anyone said or did anything to hurt one of her friends, she’d be the one to tell them off. She remembers when she was twelve, a boy was making fun of Octavia, calling her mom a slut. She’d been sent to the principal’s office for the first and definitely not the last time after that incident, only because she told him he was being a prick before he continued to pull her hair.

Now she can barely imagine being that confident in herself. Seeing where she is now compared to five years ago, letting people walk all over her, trying to go through life as unnoticed as possible. It wasn’t the person she’d ever mapped out to be and it’s slightly disappointing.

She absolutely loves Octavia but even with her it can sometimes feel like she’s standing in her shadow. Most of the time she doesn’t even mind. It’s not like no one ever takes a shot at her but she unintentionally closes herself off and is never really visible when they’re in a group. She doesn’t like to get too much attention, it makes her nervous and awkward. But she’s only a girl and like any girl she’d like to be noticed some time.

And that’s exactly why she’s with Finn. It had started a little less than six months ago, only a few weeks before her dad died. He’d started becoming a part of their little friend group and apart from Octavia he was one of the only ones who really noticed her, he actually payed attention. Clarke didn’t want to date anyone but after her dad died Octavia convinced her she deserved some fun, so within a month they were together. She figured there was no harm in trying something new, life is too short to wait for things to happen. That’s something she thinks about a lot now.

It went wrong even faster than it began though. Yes, Finn was a nice guy. He was patient with her when she was grieving, he cheered her up and bought her gifts but he always seemed to expect something in return. Not gifts but other things, things like sex, things she wasn’t ready to give to him. Or anyone for that matter.  
It’s come to the point where whenever she kisses him he turns it into more, pushing her back against a wall and sneaking his hands under her shirt, only stopping when she asks him to repeatedly but always getting frustrated at her in response. She’s tried to talk to him about it, to tell him she’s just not ready but that only gets him pissed off for a while.

She’s even considered to just do it, at least it’ll make him happy, it can’t be that bad. None of this is really his fault, he’s just a guy and she knows he has needs. Denying him of those, especially since they’ve been dating for a while at this point, maybe it’s selfish of her. Deep down she knows she shouldn’t make excuses for him but she refuses to give that too much thought. 

So now, five months into their relationship, he cheats on her. At any party, with any girl he has a chance with. He doesn’t know that she knows but he’s just terrible at hiding it. All of their friends know too, the guys don’t really talk about it but Octavia and Harper are pissed, probably even more than she is. When she first found out she was devastated, she cred her eyes out for hours and was determined to confront him about it. Then when she saw him at school the next day and he kissed her, caressing her cheek with his thumb, smiling into the kiss. She blanked.

She shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes at the frustration of it all. She’s in the high school’s library, trying her best to study for the last few tests of senior year. It’s almost graduation and then she’ll be going off for college. Since she and Finn chose entirely different schools she figured they might break up and a part of her didn’t mind that too much.

Chicago med school is her first choice, it’s only a thirty minute drive from Arkadia and according to her mom it’s one of the best universities for medicine in the country. Her mom teaches classes there every once in a while and she’s be proud if Clarke went there but she knew that she just wanted her close to home. What her mother doesn’t know is that Chicago med is only one of the many schools she applied for. Stanford med, NYU and even art and design at San Diego State. All of those are miles away but that’s exactly why she applied. She’d feel terrible about leaving her mother alone but after everything that happened with her dad, she could use some time alone. To clear her mind.

“Hey” Octavia sneaked up behind her, making practically jump out of her chair, “ready to go?”. Clarke sighed, looking at the books splattered around the table. She had spent over an hour staring at these pages, reading the same sentence over and over again after continuously getting distracted. She’s not going to pass her finals if she doesn’t keep her mind focused.

She looks up at her friend, “actually, I think I might pass on tonight. I really need to study”. She gave the brunette an apologetic look and hoped she’s understand. Of course, she didn’t.

Octavia sat down in the chair next to her and reached for her books, shutting them loudly, making a few people look up in annoyance. “Clarke, you can pass the finals with your eyes closed and two fingers in your nose, you’ll be fine if you skip studying for one night”. She sighs and gives in, knowing very well how hard it is to argue with Octavia. She picks up the books Octavia stacked up for her and puts them in her bag before swinging it over her shoulder. “Good, now go shower, put on something cute and we’ll meet you at the Ark at 9?”

She nods and walks towards the exit, leaving Octavia to stare at the schools new librarian, Lincoln. Her best friend had always been one to get crushes on boys but her obsession with this new tall, dark, handsome stranger has become a little more than just that.

She quickly hops into the car she just got back from the garage and speeds home. She has plenty of time until she has to be at the bar but when she starts planning everything in her head, like the obsessive person she is, she gets stressed out anyway. So quickly she showers and blow-dries her hair before standing in front of the mirror for the majority of time she has, trying to find something to wear. They all do this very often, go to the Ark, play a game of pool and have a few beers, it’s not a new concept so she’s not exactly nervous or anything but she still wants to look nice, especially since Finn’s going to be there and she’s like to hold his attention for tonight.

Nearing summer, the weather is really starting to warm up, even late in the evening it’s a good 65 degrees so she finally decides on a plaid skirt and a grey sweater, in case it ends up getting cold. Finn always likes it when she wears skirts or dresses but maybe that’s just because he can easily let his hand slide under it. She often considers wearing pants because of it but today she doesn’t, hoping he’ll compliment her on it. She looks in the mirror one more time after putting her hair up in a messy ponytail and sighs, studying is going to have to wait.

An hour later she walks into the bar, looking for her friends at their usual booth. Octavia, Murphy and Emori are there already. She waves at them and tries not to act too surprised when she notices Bellamy, Miller and Raven are also at the table. They were all a few years older than the rest of them, Miller and Bellamy just got back from college in new York and Raven’s studying in the city, only thirty minutes away. She doesn’t really know Raven and Miller too well but Octavia and Murphy do so maybe it would make sense that they’re here.

“Hey sexy” Octavia greets her when she reaches the booth. She looks around the table, looking for a place to sit until Miller and Bellamy scoot towards the back, giving her a place next to Bellamy. He smiles at her, letting his eyes sweep over her body once or twice. She wondered what he thought of her. They’ve both changed a lot since they last saw each other. His hair used to be shorter and his arms skinnier, he’d always been a cute boy but the first word that popped into her mind when she saw him now was hot. Really hot. Octavia interrupts her thoughts, “Murphy invited them, wasn’t really the plan but…”.

Raven gave her a frown, clearly not pleased by the comment but Clarke knew Octavia just didn’t want her big brother to be here. She doesn’t talk about him a lot, especially not since he got back but there’s obviously still some kind of bitterness between them, from Octavia’s side at least. Clarke gave her a look, but she ignored her, rolling her eyes and sipping on her beer instead.

“Is everything okay with her?” she asked Bellamy quietly, so his sister wouldn’t be able to hear it. Yes, she’s very aware of the distance between the Blakes but at the party last week she seemed to tolerate him so she wondered what happened to make her this pissed. “She seems…”

Bellamy looked in his sisters direction, watching her angrily text someone on her phone. “Crazy” he finished for her. It wasn’t exactly the word she was looking for but the bitterness in his voice tells her that something definitely happened between them. She laughs silently but before she can say anything else she’s interrupted by a hand on her shoulder. Finn. He greets her and kisses her head, sitting down in the tight space next to her, making the rest of the group scoot down even further.

For some reason she gets uncomfortable at the thought of Bellamy seeing this. Finn’s arm around her, his hand rubbing her thigh. She knows that might be weird for him since they hadn’t seen each other since she was twelve and now there’s a guy wrapped around her. She hopes her awkwardness isn’t showing though. When she looks his way he doesn’t even seem to notice so now she just feels dumb for thinking that he would.

Monty, Jasper and Harper arrive pretty soon, getting everyone a round of drinks and pulling up a few chairs to sit at the table. She shouldn’t have been too surprised when Jasper came back from the bar with a shots. “How about a game?” he asked the group. Raven made an intrigued sound while Octavia grunted.  
“Never have I ever?” Emori suggested and almost immediately earned a few groans from Bellamy, Miller and Monty, “okay, sorry. Jeez” she put her hands up. Raven spoke up, saying she didn’t mind playing never have I ever and after Bellamy stated that it’s a kids game, Jasper decided that they were going to play the dirty version and that earned even more groans. Clarke sighed out loud, she’d really rather play any other game. Bellamy was right, it’s childish and stupid.

“Okay” Monty started, reading questions from his phone “never have I ever… masturbated in public”. Clarke frowns and looks around the group, a little grossed out when Murphy takes a shot and simply explains that he got turned on in the bus and had to… relieve himself.

Harper leans on Monty’s shoulder to look at his phone, reading the next question out loud, “never have I ever…” she started, Clarke felt anxious playing this game. She knew that as a virgin, she wouldn’t have to drink much but she didn’t want anyone else to know. Harper continues, raising her eyebrows, “never have I ever had bite or scratch marks after sex”. She looks around and watches as a mischievous smile appears on Raven’s face before she takes a drink along with Murphy, Emori and Bellamy.

She’s not exactly shocked that Bellamy’s not a virgin, even before he left she and Octavia found opened condom wrappers in his room and since he just got back from college, the place where literally everyone has sex, it’s not unexpected that he’s done things before. Still it leaves a weird feeling in her stomach, wondering if it was a girlfriend or just some random fellow student.

Monty reads another question, “never have I ever taken anyone’s virginity”. The entire group except for her, Finn and Jasper drink. She hopes nobody’s aware that they (Well, Clarke and Jasper at least) are clearly the virgins of the group. She doesn’t mind being a virgin at all but she’d appreciate it if it wasn’t pointed out to the entire group, even though most of them already knew. Suddenly Finn leans over to her ear, “not yet”.

His voice makes her shiver and she looks around realizing he said that just a little too loud. On her right side Bellamy looked in her direction, frowning and then taking a sip of his drink before going back to minding his business. She wants to slap Finn, she really does. Not only has she not even said yes to having sex with him, ever but he’s also outed her virgin state to Bellamy, which makes her feel incredibly uncomfortable. She’s sure Bellamy’s not too surprised but she didn’t want him to know that, it makes her look childish and for some reason she actually cares about what he thinks of her.

After a few more uncomfortable questions they all headed over to the pool table. Most of them were a little tipsy except for her and Bellamy. She’d seen him drink multiple shots, probably more than anyone so she was surprised he looked normal. Finn took his turn at the pool table before coming back to her and wrapping his arms around her waist, giving her a long, wet kiss. “Can I sleep over at your place tonight?” he asked.

Bellamy stood a few feet away from them, he was trying not to be obvious but she knew he was listening. She could tell by the way he didn’t engage in other conversation and he watched the pool table a little too intensely. Clarke sighed and looked at Finn’s face, he looked drunk. “Finn, you know my mom won’t let you” she awkwardly tries to get out of his grip, nudging his chest before he lets go and returns to take his shot in the game.

Clarke decides to get a drink, even though she doesn’t usually drink. She walks over to the bar and is surprised by who follows her. Bellamy stands next to her, ordering another beer for himself. She can’t help but look at him for a little while. His dark blue shirt showed just enough of his muscular chest and arms. She’s not surprised he’d taken so many shots during the previous game, any girl coming his way probably falls to her knees. “So” he starts, waiting for his drink, “Finn…”. He sounded a little uncomfortable, like he wasn’t sure what to say about him. Clarke just nodded, not knowing what to say either. Last time they talked for longer than two seconds was last week, in the car towards Octavia’s party. Talking to him seemed so easy then, why isn’t it now? 

“Look, Clarke. I should tell you something” he said. His tone made her nervous, her heart started speeding up in her chest. He sounded serious, like it was important. He looks back at the group as if to make sure they’re still there and nobody else is listening, “at that party last week…” he sounded nervous too, like he didn’t want to tell her whatever he was going to say, “Finn was in my room, with another girl”.

Oh. She didn’t know about that particular night and even though she did already know he was cheating, it was still a little hurtful. It’s strange to think that he just lies right to her face, kissing her goodbye that night, texting her the next morning like nothing happened. She doesn’t know whether to act shocked or tell him that she knew but since she hasn’t answered in a while, Bellamy had already figured it out. “You knew?” he asks, confusion written all over his face, “why would you let him do that?”

Clarke didn’t respond, the answer to that question was still a little vague to her so attempting to explain it to Bellamy really was no use. To her luck Finn interrupted them, swinging an arm around her neck and kissing the top of her head, “hey baby”. Bellamy gives Finn an annoyed look, one that doesn’t go unnoticed. “What’s going on?”, Finn suddenly sounds serious, like his tipsiness just disappeared.

Bellamy looks at her, still frowning and waiting for her to say something. She knows he wants her to tell Finn that she knows but she can’t, it’d ruin everything and she doesn’t want that. She can tell Bellamy wants to say something about it himself but she’s glad he doesn’t. Instead, he takes his beer and walks back to the group, leaving her alone with Finn who gives her a confused look. “I don’t like him” he says leaning against the bar, watching Bellamy from a distance, “he looks like a dick”.

He’s not, she thinks, but she doesn’t say anything to avoid pissing Finn off. He’s definitely the jealous type and if she does so much as defend Bellamy’s personality to him, he’ll get pissed. She feels Finn’s hands on her waist as he moves closer, standing behind her. He starts fidgeting with her hair, twisting it around between his fingers, “I like it better without the ponytail, it looks messy”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii, thanks for reading this chapter, I hope you liked it.  
> I know Clarke's really insecure in this story and that probably seems OOC right now but it'll change, it's just part of the story for now ;)  
> Please leave comments and kudos

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you guys liked the first chapter!  
> The second one is coming as soon as I'm done with the third one, so probably in a few days.
> 
> Leave comments & kudos to let me know if you liked it. Criticism is always welcome ;)


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